Two girls in one of the dorm's laundry rooms.

Girl: Its so tight

Guy 1: "Is there any sport that girls are consistently better than guys at?"
Guy 2: "Childbirth"

Please: No Names, Titles, Fraternities, or Sororities
Have fun with it.

Two guys walking back up Shortlidge coming from downtown:

Guy: "Dude, if you have herpes you gotta tell her."

"You can't just continue to eat all of their shit! Your bladder will explode and your colon! Dear God your colon!"

Guy: Seriously? You're still trying to guilt me after you're dead? What a bitch!

Girl:"I saw your comment!"
Guy:"We don't talk about facebook away from facebook!"

Guy 1: when i was in 5th grade i got a handjob by an 8th grader
Girl 1: don't you think thats a little weird?
Guy 1: no... well, kind of

Slips of paper left on the ground around campus:
"You would be killed in Bed Stuy."
"Congratulations on every shirt you own being plaid."
"Put some fucking lotion on your hands."
"Why did you never use tongue?"
"Thank alcohol for being the only reason you ever got laid."

At a party...
Dude 1: Yeah, [Dude 2], I ain't know girls were up on you like THAT.
Dude 2: Yeah, well, my friends call me SLAYER.

Near Chemistry Building:

Girl (on phone): By the end of the night I was drinking, like half a cup of moonshiiiiiine and just a liiiiitle bit of juice, half a cup of 99 Bananas yeahhh.... yeah she was throwing up all over the place (laughs) I got her naked. I showed her the pictures later and she was like "nooooooo!"

Girl @ her 21st Birthday: "I had seven. SEVEN. SEVVVVEEEENNN."
"My phone--FELL. On the floor. And it shattered. Into a MILLION PIECES! Or just three."
"Then Yori, this MAN, he's in the band! He SAVED ME"
"They took away my straw"

Journalism Major: I was taking my test, and it goes, "What is photosynthesis?" And I got excited and wanted to put a lot of exclamation points and smiley faces ... but then I thought my professor wouldn't appreciate that.

Girl in a pseudo-French accent: "I care, I just take my care and turn it into ... pah! I spit at you!"

Girl: "I asked him if he would change his name, and he was like, what, like [Girl’s last name-Boy’s last name]? And I was like, no, what about something like McNeill?"

Girl One : So, have you made your decision yet?
Girl Two: [very frank tone] Well, I've decided not to drink during the week.